God Talks To Us!

I made this page a while ago, my intentions being to make this a sort of companion site to a podcast that I've been called to do and should be starting up in the very near future. It's sat here empty for some time with no one knowing about it because I didn't know what to do with it yet. Today God gave me a reason to write and has put me in the right mindset to do so. Today I sat in church listening to people recalling instances that they're prayers were answered in such a way that can only be explained as, it was God. God still performs miracles. As I sat there listening to these amazingly answered prayers, one thing came to my mind. While I can't say that I've had answered prayers acted out quite as miraculously as these experiences, I've had some miraculous experiences with God. When I was younger my family had a not so great experience with a church, at the time I didn't really understand what had happened but of course later I did but I just threw it out as organized religion just being organized religion and because of this, I didn't really have any want or desire to attend a church service. I know this seems like it's going to be a long drawn out first entry into this, blog.. I guess you could call it, and it may be but I feel God calling me to share. This is the best way I know to do it right now and if I'm going to do it I may as well be thorough and I'm no good at speaking in groups and I'm super socially awkward. So because of this incident, I really had no desire to attend a church service or have anything to do with "organized religion".... and I missed out, on a lot. One of the things I missed out on that pertains to this story is the fact that as a young teen in church, I had a great pastor and none of this is at his fault, I have no doubt that if I had reached out to him and expressed my troubles he would've been able to guide me to this ultimate decision much sooner than I did on my own. He was a great pastor and in many ways is the reason that I am who I am today, because while he was very involved and was the fun pastor and just seemed like a normal person you could always see God in what he was doing and as a young teen that was something I'd never experienced in a pastor before. Anyways as a young teen in church I always heard of personal relationships with God and at that age I didn't really understand how you could have a personal relationship with someone you couldn't even see but I just went along with it because.. that's just what you do. As I got older, most of my adult life, I almost hate to say this now but it is crucial to the story, I came to think of my relationship with God as one sided. I still prayed but I wasn't sure my prayers were being heard, much less answered. Fast forward... in my job I'm out of town most weeks living in a hotel room and being away from home is just weighing on me, I'm not married and I don't have kids but I'm a homebody and not being home was just so tiring. Its hard to explain to people who aren't like this but every week I dread not work but just knowing that I'll be living in a hotel room away from home and on fridays when I start getting close to home, I genuinely get excited and when we pull into the driveway it's like a huge weight is lifted off of me. One sunday night I'm sitting in my bed, dreading going out of town the next morning, and I just started talking to God audibly which is something I never did but at this instance I wanted to make sure God heard me. It went something like this, "God, I don't even know what to do anymore. All I know is that I don't want to do this for the rest of my life but I don't know what to do about that. I want to be a good person, I want people to see you in me, I want to help people and be able to put your name on it. I don't know how to do that so I'm giving it all to you. If you have a path for me then lay it on my heart, give some purpose to my life. Lay it on my heart because I want to spread your word, your love. Give me a path and I'll take it.". I kid you not, I layed down to go to sleep and as soon as my head hit the pillow a thought went through my mind that at the time I had no idea would have so much impact on me. I wonder what all it would take for me to start a podcast? For the next few weeks I, the person that is arguably shy and super socially awkward and reserved and quiet, could'nt think of anything other than researching what I needed to start a podcast and researching equiptment and watching videos about starting one. The whole time this was going on I would pray, is this something you want me to do God? How am I supposed to do this, I cant talk about things and put it on the internet for everyone to see. I was starting to delve into the bible and decided that I wanted a king james version for my studies. when it arived I was excited and began reading in Genisis, Genisis is a great book but after creation, for a new reader, it can start to get boring. In the back of my head something kept telling me just turn to the new testament and start reading somewhere so I did. Now, I'm always sceptical When I hear of people's stories of just flipping to a random page and finding a verse that is somehow what they needed. I did it anyways and where did I land? none other than Mark chapter 11 and my eyes were drawn to verse 24. I since have used a New Living translation which reads, Mark 11:24 "I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe you recieved it, it will be yours." This is Jesus, speaking to the disciples, after Jesus cleared the temple and the next morning the disciples saw the fig tree that Jesus had cursed that was now withered. Now Jesus isn't saying that you can pray for a Lambo or a million dollars and you'll get it. What I personally got from God showing me that verse was like "Hey, are you listening to me? You asked for a path, you wanted to spread my love, you wanted to help people. You asked me to lay my path for you on your heart and I've done that, you just need to have the faith to take it." This was a huge break in my personal relationship with God, this was the first time that I prayed to God and actually without a spec of doubt in my heart knew that He was speaking to me, he had answered my prayer, my kind of last ditch effort, and in my desperation layed a path on my heart and when I questioned it he humbled me. As soon as I saw that verse it hit me that this was the case, that this was the start of the walk I'd always wanted, when I realized just how wrong I was for looking at this relationship as one sided, I cried, because I was heartbroken that I'd had this view that was so wrong and I'd missed out so much, but this was my time. This was my time to take that path, to give God my everything and continue this relationship. When we give God our all and we actually pursue that relationship, I'm here to tell you, it is absolutely crazy how much God is talking to us and the ways he chooses to do so. Another verse comes to mind right now, Jeremiah 29:13-14 "'If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. 14 I will be found by you.'says the Lord' I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations I have sent you and I will bring you home again to your own land.". Isn't that beautiful, all we have to do is look for Him wholeheartedley and we will find him. Another example of how God spoke to me was through, of all things, a YouTube video. It was one of these videos where a guy was giving large tips to uber drivers just to thank them. One of the drivers told that she was in real need of the money and said that she wished that she could give back like that with money. I remember saying, "God, I wish I could do this and put your name on it." no sooner than I'd gotten this out of my mouth, the man on the video said "you don't have to have money or give money to spread love and kindness.". Now I know that this instance could be written off but God put that video in front of me and when I said I wanted to be able to give money to people who needed it God reminded me that I don't need to do that to spread his love and his word. And theres the story of why I'm starting a podcast. I still don't know what I'm going to say, I just have to keep praying that God will give me the words and that He will speak through me. But you can not tell me that God does not provide, I couldn't even begin to count the things that have been donated to the purpose of this podcast, how many random sales that God has put in front of me for the exact equiptment that I was looking at buying, it's all God. So what will the podcast be called? You may have been able to guess by now but The Agape Life Podcast, because of the unconditional love of God. Because its my calling, my purpose, to spread that love.